Narcissistic Feed

Since she was a little girl,
Hazel was taught give everything she had to others.
If she didn’t do this, she was called selfish
and she felt ashamed to be selfish,
so she gave everything away until
she was broke in heart,
broken in spirit
and broke at the bank.

Photo by Corey Motta on Unsplash
Photo by Corey Motta on Unsplash

What Hazel didn’t realize was her narcissistic parents had targeted her because she was an empath. Decades later, she began to wonder why she was the only one in the family who ever gave anything to anyone else. Had Jesus singled her out or did Jesus even have anything to do with it? When she decided to reassess the voice of Jesus she began to realize Jesus had never asked her to give everything to the narcissist. She had been used.

Narcissistic feed is the currency of the narcissist. Every narcissist is different. For some, it might be protecting the family’s reputation. For others, it is money or material supply. Others feed off of ego strokes. No two people are the same, but a common trait of many narcissists is using others without giving back.

The ego-driven narcissist wants to be fed with praise and compliments. The religious narcissist wants you to agree with them and they like to show you what to think. The opportunist narcissist sees every material thing you have and wants it for himself.

Narcissistic feed is the relationship between a person with toxic narcissistic tendencies and the person they wish to use. They might act friendly when they think you have money but have nothing to say when you do not feed them. The narcissist sees your resources as theirs.

We’ve all been given resources. We all have a responsibility for what we do with our time, money and energy. The narcissist doesn’t see your resources as God’s, they see your resources as potential supply for themselves. This is because they have never grown up. They want to be fed like a baby without working for it.

Christians with narcissistic tendencies will try to shame us into giving up our resources. They say things like “Jesus gave all and so should we.” This “we” is like a royal we because the narcissist sees you as an extension of their self. What they are forgetting is Jesus taught personal responsibility through his parables. And the Bible says that God loves a cheerful giver. Don’t let other people manipulate you into giving up the things you need to so they can spend it. Each of us is responsible for our own resources and no one has the right to tell you how to spend your money.

The bottom line about giving feed to the narcissist is they will never be satisfied, they will always want more of whatever type of feed they crave. The narcissist’s dream is to sit back and rely on others for money, work, compliments or manipulation of other people. They see you as a drone and a pawn. When you realize this, the truth will set you free.


  1. Then when you finally set boundaries and start to heal, they throw you away as if you mean nothing to them, taking the rest of the family with them. 😦

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hi Julie,
    This is mention often, but remember that a $100 bill thrown in the trash as a fast food restaurant is still as valuable as it was before someone carelessly threw it away–even if it has mustard and ketchup on it.

    You are still worth as much as you were before, unfortunately, the process of scapegoating a family member causes the flying monkeys to shun you. I am sorry this is happening to you. It has also happened to thousand before you and while it doesn’t take away your pain, I hope it helps to know there are people who have been treated this way who found a better life.

    I would suggest you take time to mourn your losses and find a good counselor to help you realize you are not alone and that you have intrinsic worth. You are worthy!

    Peace and freedom to you!



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