People often ask, “When will God heal me?” I understand this question. I have struggled with weight most of my life and I know lots of people who struggle with other issues. We pray for God to heal us emotionally, physically and spiritually, but many times we don’t see the miracles we crave.
The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Let’s face it, most of us ask God for healing and then go back like a dog to the vomit to see what we can find in our old life. I know, I’ve done it myself way too many times to count. A friend told me she ate a package of M and Ms in two days. I said I did too. Then I realized my 105 lb friend was talking about a single serving size while I was talking about a family size. No offense to my fellow food addicts, but we will end up family sized if we keep eating that way. Trust me, I know.
One of the most difficult dilemmas is to be an overweight person in this day and age. Science has caught up to what makes people fat so slim people think we should stop struggling. Overweight people are the last people who are given respect because some people judge what they do not understand. Struggles with weight are often more psychological than physical. Many of us have suffered deep pain that caused our weight gain in the first place. It doesn’t help when my mountain scaling friends say things like “input vs. output,” or “Let’s hike that mountain.” Let’s face it, I hardly know what they are talking about, the last mountain I climbed was when I went up a slide and it’s been awhile since I could comfortably do that.
Logically I realize what they are talking about, but my heart doesn’t measure anything but love. Food is where I was weaned on love. Sometimes it felt like food was the only love I got, so stopping my sugar binges was like stopping an addiction to love. You might think you don’t care about sugar, but could you stop craving love?
Five years ago, I went to a seminar that changed my life. (It was not a weight loss seminar and no I am not selling you anything.) I was unaware of the impact it would make on me. I went hoping to learn more facts about God. While that happened, I was unprepared for the reaction in my own heart to the Good News about God. For once I realized that God was not judging me (John 5:22, John 8:15). As I discovered God’s unconditional love, I began to eat less and crave junk food less. I still have weight to lose, but I have learned to ignore the ignorant people who try to remake me or fix me. I have the unconditional love of Jesus and His love is greater than anyone’s condemnation.
Part of my problem was that I was afraid of God. I thought God was like the people who criticized and picked at everything I did. When I heard that God is a consuming fire I was afraid of being burned. Now I know God is a consuming fire to sin—not to me. It is my sin He wishes to burn away. My selfish heart, my needy heart that was sucking down M and Ms like there was no future in chocolate. When I discovered that Jesus is not like other people, I began a process of healing miraculous for me.
One of my greatest comforts was to discover Isaiah 33. The sinners are afraid of the everlasting burnings, while the righteous walk in the fire. When I first heard about this, I wondered, “What’s up with that?”
The sinners in Zion are terrified;
trembling grips the godless:
“Who of us can dwell with the consuming fire?
Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning?”
Now here comes the good part—
Those who walk righteously
And speak what is right,
Who reject gain from extortion
And keep their hands from accepting bribes,
Who stop their ears against plots of murder
And shut their eyes against contemplating evil—
They are the ones who will dwell on the heights,
Whose refuge will be the mountain fortress.
Their bread will be supplied,
And water will not fail them.
Your eyes will see the king in his beauty.
When we know God, we have nothing to be afraid of–even His fire, because His fire IS His love. If we are addicted to food, He promises to provide the food we need. This is how we find our healing because love heals and God is the source of love and all that love is was first in God—so much that there is no love that did not originate in Him. Some of us may never experience physical healing on this earth, but we are guaranteed spiritual healing and eventually an eternity of health if we trust God. This may not be physical healing yet, but it’s definitely a spiritual healing. Only by knowing God can we trust Him. I couldn’t heal for years because I needed to know God’s unconditional love.
I made 3 dozen cookies today. I did not eat one. Not a morsel. It might seem extreme to some. I realize there is nothing wrong with cookies as long as we don’t worship them and make them a priority in our life over serving God, but for me it’s poison to indulge. I have decided to take food–the thing that once enslaved me and use it to bring glory to God. I plan to give these cookies away in a public place because I want to give back to God for all He has done for me.
I want to shout to the world that God. Is. Love.
Do you feel God’s love? That’s my prayer for you.