When Natalie received her first check the first thing she did was buy a sofa. She’d never bought anything brand new before so in her excitement she told her family. The delivery truck was unloading it when her phone rang. It was her sister informing her that their parents were talking because they thought Natalie should wait before buying a sofa.
Natalie called her parents to inform them it was her money and her life and asked why they were talking about her to the rest of the family. Her parents denied it. Puzzled, she hung up only to hear the phone ring again. The same sister delivered a new message; “Mom just called back and asked why I told you what they said. I told her I didn’t say anything. I don’t want to get into the middle of this so leave me out in the future –thank you!” Shocked, Natalie hung up again. So everyone else knew they were lying, she knew they were lying, but no one was willing to admit it.
Being in a relationship with somebody who lies is tough.
It’s not that you don’t love them or care about them,
it’s just that you can’t connect.
Without trust, there’s no relationship.
-Donald Miller
©Rolf Jansson/Licensed from GoodSalt.com
Natalie was experiencing a common pattern in dysfunctional families called triangulation. That’s where people talk to a third party about the first. In triangulation no one speaks to the person they have a problem with because it is easier to talk about people behind their backs. It’s also easier to lie behind people’s backs. And sometimes even make up stuff behind people’s backs. Talking face to face might shatter the story they wish to spread, so the story stretches on and on and in the re-telling it often gets bigger and bigger. Jesus came to end such nonsense.
The foundation of Satan’s work is lies. The first triangulation of this world happened in the Garden of Eden where Satan tried to deceive Eve behind God’s back. After taking the advice of a snake over God’s, Adam and Eve hid. People have been triangulating and hiding ever since.
The reason the Son of God appeared
was to destroy the devil’s work.
-1 John 3:8
As the Truth, Jesus came to destroy the devil’s work by restoring the broken relationship between God and His Children. Jesus destroys lies:
1. By Revealing God’s Character
One of Satan’s biggest lies is to get us to believe God is like a human parent, but God is never self-serving or manipulative. The life of Jesus reveals how other-centered love is the essence of God’s character.
2. By Restoring Our Identity
At the heart of every dysfunctional family we find lies about our identity and value. Many children grow up with low self-worth. They question if they are wanted by their parents, society and God. By taking on the human condition, walking among us and dying for us, Jesus reveals the value of every human being. We have value first through our creation as children of God and second through Jesus’ death on the cross proving that all of us are valuable to God.
3. By Destroying the Effects of Sin Jesus always rebukes the spirit of lying. He never supports dishonesty and He calls us to honest living with each other. He came to restore all marriages and families to complete and total honesty so we can be free from gossip, lies and triangulation. He invites us to join Him in telling the truth in love. Ultimately, the Truth who is Jesus, will conquer the death that comes with lies and all of us will live again in honest and open relationship with God and each other.
The Word became flesh and blood,
and moved into the neighborhood.
We saw the glory with our own eyes,
the one-of-a-kind glory,
like Father, like Son,
Generous inside and out,
true from start to finish.
-John 1:14, MSG
How has the Truth who is Jesus brought freedom to your life?
